From Victim to Goddess

Sometimes it really is a straw that breaks the camel’s back. It was for me.

I arrived in adulthood believing that productive, successful people worked very hard, analyzed every decision intellectually, and controlled their life through the force of their will. Like many people, I was always busy, always trying to force things to go my way, and always in a hurry. My life was tiring, and sometimes overwhelming, but I thought I was living the way life is supposed to be lived. And it looked good from the outside! I had my Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology, was working as a Mental Health Counselor, perusing post graduate studies, and owned my own house.

I realize now that my early adulthood was unbalanced, unhealthy, and fear-driven. It didn’t matter how hard I worked, how much of my intellect I brought to bear on my problems, or how hard I pushed. Ultimately, I was not going to succeed. It seems so clear now: I was dissatisfied, reactive, overweight, and disconnected from my feelings. My friendships were shallow and dramatic. My love life could have been considered laughable if it wasn’t so painful.

Then came the straw…

I broke up with a guy I had been dating and fell apart - which didn’t make sense because the relationship wasn’t that important to me. He was an alright guy but he certainly wasn’t the love of my life! And there I was depressed and weeping all the time. The level of my emotional pain was way out of proportion to the event. I didn’t know exactly what was going on but I knew my suffering had nothing to do with the break up. I also knew there was no way I was going to stay in that hideous emotional place.  

As it happened, the 2006 Body, Mind, Spirit Expo was that week and I had already planned to go. Kristy Jarrett was scheduled to speak the first day and I had a gut feeling I needed to attend her talk. But, I was in so much pain I didn’t want to leave the house that day and knew I would be late. I cried all the way through my shower, but somehow I managed to get myself to the Convention Center. I snuck into a seat in the back row as Kristy was being introduced. She stood up to talk and almost immediately I knew I needed to schedule an appointment with this woman. Never mind that she was a complete stranger to me – I knew I needed her help – it was totally intuitive, and ended up being totally right. I now know that my higher self, the wisest part of me, was looking out for me that day. But then, I just had a knowing and I followed up on it.

I had my first life coaching session with Kristy the next week. After my first session with her, the crying stopped. I certainly wasn’t “cured” or “transformed” at that point, but I was able to let go of my emotional pain and start looking at my life in a new way. Over time, coaching with Kristy and attending Seminars That Inspire, I did begin to transform myself.

• I became more calm, more grounded, less reactive, and more at peace with myself.
• I started recognizing my feelings and learned a system for processing through my emotions instead of bottling them
• I owned up to some bad financial investments I had made and restored my financial health.
• I realized that I had been using my masculine energy to drive my life, but since I am a woman, I’m stronger when I lead from my feminine energy.
• Drawing on my intrinsic feminine strength, I began to bring my life into alignment with who I am authentically and make wiser decisions for myself.
• I began to attract healthy relationships, improved my family connections, and develop deep, supportive friendships.
• I lost 65 pounds that I never thought I could lose.
• My clarity, confidence and joy soared and I started living an inspired, rather than a forced life.

My journey is far from over. I know that it will last the rest of my life. But now that I have learned to process through my emotions and lead with my feminine power, I find myself attracting success with less effort than ever before. I am able to allow fear, anxiety and emotional pain to flow through me. I have claimed my birthright: I am blessed and happy no matter what is happening around me.