Here’s a question I recently received from a Goddess Girlfriend
Why do I feel like I need to go shopping and buy new things constantly? And why do I feel like I’m avoiding something?
Spending money is a social norm that provides pleasure and instant gratification. Shopping can and has become a distraction from experiencing feelings for many.
First, consider if there is something in your life that you are avoiding?
A good majority of people avoid feeling their feelings. Common feelings that people try to avoid are anxiety, fear and feeling vulnerable.
Do any of these resonate for you?
Are you avoiding talking with someone that you need to be communicating with?
Is there something in your life you need to be letting go of, such as an old relationship or job?
Are you currently dating or in a deepening relationship?
This avoidance can also stem from fear of intimacy or opening yourself up, allowing someone into your emotional space.
There are other ways people avoid feeling something uncomfortable. Some of those include:
- Using excessive alcohol or drugs
- Emotional eating (usually sugary or salty high fat and/or carb foods)
- Keeping themselves busy
- Watching a lot of television
- Doing anything in excess
When we participate in one of these activities we distract ourself from feeling our feelings.
The short term affect of feeling relief may feel good.
The long term affect is that the feeling or issue we avoid gets bigger. We may not be aware of it in the moment, but something will trigger an emotional response in the future, causing us to over react to the situation. Most of us have experience with this.
Back to the shopping – you can probably start to see how it could easily be something that pushes those uncomfortable feelings away. Since you said you were shopping quite a bit, this leads me to believe that something uncomfortable for you is coming up.
By regularly trying to feel good through an external source, a negative cycle is created. Initially what you purchase may give you a positive feeling, however if this has become a pattern for you, the item becomes another possession, rather than provide a sustained positive result.
So how do you deal with the feelings you’re avoiding?
Journaling is a very beneficial tool to use to give your thoughts and feelings acknowledgment. If you don’t acknowledge what’s coming up it will start eating at you. It’s like a shadow. It can appear larger then it really is until you look at it. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to avoid something then to face it. I’m not saying this is always easy, it’s just very draining. If you have a trustworthy and objective Goddess Girlfriend try talking it over with them. However, if you find this process challenging I can help support you through the process.
Angela, The Goddess Next Door