Apr 062010
 

Do you have what you truly want in life or are you accepting status quo?

This may be difficult to answer, however there is great value in asking this question.

A great way to find out the answer to these questions is to look at your results. Your results reflect of the quality of the decisions and actions you have made to this point. Your results are the best way to determine if you are on the right track.

Do you have the results you want, or are they off base?

I had to take a good long look at my results and this was a significant reason why I chose to move to the East Coast. If you were to take an objective look at my life when I lived in Oregon, you would see I had stagnant results.

I was stuck.

I had developed some ineffective habits of behavior, some of which I had convinced myself were working.

Now I can see more clearly what was going on. What I really wanted, got further and further out of my reach. In fact, I was very busy and I was exhausted. My friends told me I was the busiest person they knew, yet I didn’t have the money or relationships to show for it.

In the first couple of months living in New Jersey my results were dramatically different, you would have thought I’d been here for years; establishing an amazing network of personal and professional contacts, getting a managerial position with the federal government despite so many others struggling to find work, and reestablishing  my coaching practice.

My experiences serve as an example to help you identify if you’ve become stagnant in your own life.

Do you have the results you want?

Take a look at your success in the following areas:

  • Romantic Relationships
  • Business Relationships
  • Finances
  • Friendships
  • Career

Do you find yourself constantly struggling to do everything and to get it all? If so, is it paying off? Are you able to enjoy what you have worked so hard for?

If it’s not paying off, ask yourself why.

If it doesn’t make sense to you, have you ever wondered why it feels like everything has to be so hard or so much work? If you consistently have unsatisfying results, what you’ve been doing isn’t working effectively.

Consider the following questions…

  • Do you find yourself over-thinking a lot?
  • Are you constantly analyzing and trying to figure things out?
  • Are your desired results always just out of your reach?

These are signs that you’re stuck in your head.

Your mind is a tool you can use to translate your vision into goals and action steps.

If you find yourself feeling like you are working constantly, moving faster, doing more and more, and you feel like your head is spinning…you mind has become your master. Your mind houses your ego, your inner critic, that part of yourself that will drive you like a slave.

How would you like to take control back and become the master of your mind?

Ask yourself…

  • What would it be like if you could go through your day, focused and taking inspired action, allowing you to be done with your work in one-half or one-third the time?
  • What if you could change just a few ways of how you interact with someone you care about and have your relationship completely turn around and bring back those amazing feelings you once experienced?
  • What would it be worth to have success follow you, giving you the enjoyment and love for what you do?

These things will not come effortlessly or quickly.

Think about how long it took you to get where you are in present time and develop your current habits?

The good news is that it doesn’t have to take that long to see improvement. In fact, most of my clients see or feel a noticeable change by their third session.

Most people struggle with change.  There is a tendency to resist change because the outcome cannot be predicted. This causes many to cling to the familiar to avoid the fear of the unknown. When you resist change it makes it more difficult and painful.

By choosing to continue along the same path, despite recognizing it’s no longer working will bring about more suffering. If you can see this as a pattern for you, can you recall a time when you made a change and there was a positive result waiting for you on the other side?

When you are able to let go of the old ways of doing something, amazing and positive results will follow.

Is there something you know you need to change, but up until this point you haven’t been ready, willing, or able to?

When might be the right time?

If you’re ready and don’t want to do it alone, let me know how I can help!

xoxo

Angela, The Goddess Next Door

Apr 022010
 

I bet the title got your attention didn’t it? The real question is do you want to Get Financially Naked? For most, the answer to this question is no…it just seems to scary. The topic of finances becomes a hot button for many relationships. Many times those hard questions get swept under the rug until after the wedding bliss settles and couples find themselves at  odds when money issues start appearing. Decisions like, do you have joint or separate accounts? Are expenses covered equally or is one of the couple primarily responsible? If you have children, do you pay for their college? The list of financial questions continue…

Get Financially Naked, written by Manisha Thakor, MBA, CFA, and Sharon Kedar, MBA, CFA is one of the newest books I was asked to review. This is a great book to help avoid the financial stress that can destroy even the best relationship. Use this guide to peel away the layers and get to the naked truth in your committed, long-term relationship. This financial guide will help you:

  • Take responsibility of your own finances: Only once you can take responsibility of your own finances can you achieve healthy finances with your honey.
  • Uncover your current financial beliefs that guide your decision making.
  • Do it with your partner, you’re a team now!
  • Talk money with your sweetie…how about a little financial foreplay.
  • Discover your financial compatibility: are you going to argue at every turn about how to spend money?
  • Ask the hard questions and take five steps to financial success.
  • Make your money work hard for you, instead of always having to work hard for your money!

Use the many great worksheets and questions included in this book to guide your journey as you create an open, healthy dialog with your partner. This book can help you keep the love alive and avoid the financial pitfalls in your relationship. You will find this book is a small investment for the potential rewards it offers. Get a copy for yourself today!

xoxo

Angela, The Goddess Next Door

PS – If you find yourself personal struggling or challenged in this arena, consider how you may be sabbotaging your finances. Let’s talk about how Transformational Life Coaching can help you tap create personal and business success and turn your finances around.

Mar 052010
 

At first when I received this book for review I thought I was going to learn about getting out and being more active. Once I began to read it, I was pleasantly surprise when instead Gabrielle Bernstein, the author of Add More ~ing to Your Life had written about tapping into your inner guidance and living a happier, more fulfilling life.

Those of you who are familiar with A Course in Miracles will take right to this book. Gabrielle heavily refers to the teachings and explores them with a young, modern approach. It seems the priorities among the younger generations have shifted as 93% of women ages 23-34 say they would rather have happiness than wealth. This is really exciting when you think about it. Especially when you consider when you’re doing something you love, wealth will follow. Even though we consciously know this, actually feeling happy and wealthy seems to be the farthest thing from what we experience.

I really enjoyed her perspective on dealing with the negative ego, otherwise known as your inner critic. She reminds her readers over and over of the importance of being and living in this moment. Life can become so easy when we use that seemingly simple practice in our day to day life.

With the easy to follow steps in her ‘hip’ guide to happiness, you will take a 30 day journey of physical activity, positive affirmations and creative visualization. Her ~ing Equation include: Rethinking, Moving, and Receiving for 30 days. Not only will you have fun reconnecting to yourself, you will experience yourself in a whole new way. If you’re ready to bulldoze your negative thought patterns and move forward in your life, check out her book Add More ~ing to Your Life.

xoxo

Angela, The Goddess Next Door

Feb 262010
 

A common question I hear from clients is how do I get my partner to be more attentive.

Ultimately men and women have the same wants and desires from their partner.

We all want to feel special, desired, and accepted.

After a relationship has become established and the new excitement wears off, we tend to get into a rut and become less attentive towards our partner. It’s to be expected that the newness will wear off. It happens to the best of us. We are over stressed, over worked and we stop putting our relationship and partner as a top priority. It’s certainly easier to succumb to the daily stressors and the exhaustion then to give your partner loving attention and intimacy.

In fact, you frequently hear men talking about how they feel nagged all the time by their wife or girlfriend. Nagging is focusing on the negative and verbalizing it in a judgmental way. The person who nags is looking for their partner to do something different which will make them feel good. With nagging, you will actually get the opposite of what you desire. The natural response is a defensive reaction. You will feel it as resistance from your partner. No one likes to be told to do something.

We all would like our partner to show us that they care.

Many times we wait for them to take the initiative and do nice things to make us feel desired, special, and appreciated before we return the favor. This creates a potentially destructive and vicious cycle that can eventually lead to built up resentments.

If not tended to, this destructive pattern can eventually lead to emotional and/or physical infidelities.

Frequently affairs are initiated by men and women who no longer feel desired or appreciated by their partner. A man needs to feel successful in his relationship. This includes mentally, emotionally and sexually. He wants to feel desired and know that he makes you happy.

Women on the other hand want to feel loved and appreciated. When infidelity occurs; instead of turning to their partner and dealing with the challenges; the unfaithful partner looks to someone who will make them feel special.

An affair offers strong validation and reinforcement through feelings of success and desirability for the unfaithful partner. This is what makes having and continuing an affair so enticing.

The good news is that it only takes one of you to have a significant impact on this destructive cycle.

The work of a successful and fulfilling relationship is continuing to create that excitement you shared in the beginning with your partner. When you first met your partner you probably found yourself having all the energy in the world to spend time getting to know them, trying new things and having some frisky fun. That excitement will return if you are willing to do the work.

If your relationship doesn’t feel the way you want it to, ask yourself if you think your partner feels successful and appreciated? If not, identify one small thing you can do to start creating a more positive experience for your partner.

Be the partner you want your partner to become.

Focus on changing your own thoughts and behaviors. Start noticing your partner’s positives.

Appreciate your partner, even if you have to start very small. Once positively reinforced by your recognition, he or she will want to reciprocate more to make you happy. This will help turn that cycle around.

Finally, don’t rely on your partner to make you feel good.

Do things to nurture yourself. The Goddess Next Door recognizes that there is a Goddess in every woman. It’s important as women to reconnect with our feminine side. Enjoy nurturing yourself like the Goddess you are.

xoxo

Angela, The Goddess Next Door