Has the state of the economy affected how you spend your time and money?
Have you found yourself spending more time at home?
Have money issues taken a toll on your relationship?
Circumstances sometimes require us to do things that we’re either not used to doing or would otherwise not choose. This may include spending more time at home with your partner. This may not sound like a bad thing, but when caused by necessity it can create tension and conflict between the two of you. Small things about your partner may begin to irritate you. They may never have gotten on your nerves before, but being together more than usual can trigger frustration. So, what can you do?
First, lay a good foundation with open communication. Take some time to identify and share with your partner what your personal needs are.
Consider the following questions.
- How much alone time do you need each day?
- Do you need structure to be productive or does structure give you a sense of being trapped?
- Are there particular things you want or need done by your partner that aren’t being addressed?
- Are there things you can communicate to your partner to help during this time?
- Finally, how can you communicate with your partner so he/she can understand what you are sharing?
The more proactive you can be in your communication, the easier it will be to get through the challenging times.
If you work from home, don’t allow work to consume your home life. When working from home it’s easy to become a workaholic as there is always something to do. This can really have a negative impact on your emotional and sexual intimacy.
How do you nurture your relationship so this does not happen?
Setting boundaries around work is important. Consider creating physical and/or psychological boundaries for yourself. A physical boundary would be an identified place to work, like a home office. Psychological boundaries aren’t really tangible. An example of a psychological boundary could be designating hours for various aspects of your life: work, play, rest, family, etc.
Here are some other tips to help support a healthy relationship:
- Create signs or cues that signal you would like to address something with your partner. This is a great way to start a conversation when it may be difficult to bring it up otherwise. Some examples would be leaving a note on the refrigerator, placing a specific book on the coffee table, or a vase of flowers in the dining room.
- Consider designating certain rooms in the house to each of you. This is a great way to create space for yourself to regroup and maintain your autonomy.
- Schedule planned date times. Find time at least one time each week when you and your partner can go on a date together. This doesn’t mean spending a lot of money. This can simply be cuddling up on the couch, turning on a movie and enjoying some popcorn. Think about things you did when you first started dating and start doing some of those activities again. At first, scheduling time for dates with your partner may feel contrived and forced, however you will begin to look forward to your time together and it will become foreplay.
- Try new things; novelty helps develop that intimate bond between you and your partner.
- Honor and respect both of your needs for personal space. Don’t take it personally, it doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you anymore. We all need time alone for internal processing, stress relief, and to simply wind down. Giving your partner and yourself the space you need will rejuvenate you and increase the energy and excitement for your relationship.
- Have outside friends and interests. Many times people in a relationship focus all of their attention on their partner. Maintaining relationships to friends and outside interests are important. This is part of the reason your partner was attracted to you in the first place, plus it takes the pressure off your partner from feeling like you are relying on them for everything. A healthy relationship is between two whole, individual people.
Finally, be gentle with each other. You and your partner are a team, so work together rather than against each other. Keep in mind the larger picture and what your goals are when all is said and done.
Do you have other tips for healthy communication? Share your comments!
xoxo
Angela, The Goddess Next Door
