Do you wonder if you’ve found “The One”?
The decision to get engaged is one of the most exciting and important in ones life. Michael Batshaw’s book, 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged offers insights and techniques for a successful engagement and marriage. This pocket-sized manual provides the reader tools to determine if their partner is the right one to spend the rest of their life with. It also addresses the tough questions we tend to overlook and 
provides simple, pragmatic tips for success.
Consider these questions:
- Do you find that after an apology, neither you nor your partner does anything to change what originally caused the hurt/argument?
- Is good sex one of the few redeeming qualities of your relationship?
- Do you think your partner is perfect in every way?
- Do you imagine ways you can change your partner?
- Have you begun spending much less time with friends or maintaining your autonomy?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, this book is definitely for you. It’s a great resource that you and your partner can discuss to help solidify your relationship for years to come. What a wonderful gift to give yourself or a friend who is considering taking the plunge.
One of my personal favorites is #28 Couples who don’t argue are in trouble. Batshaw says, “Such couples tend to be afraid to acknowledge the very real problems in their relationships for fear that this is somehow an affirmation they are badly suited to each other. This is an awful predicament: believing fundamentally that if you communicate a problem, argue your position, or express disappointment, your relationship is hopelessly flawed and the two of you are incompatible. The suppression and denial necessary to maintain these beliefs, despite the reality staring you in the face each day, leads to incredible unspoken tension and passive aggressiveness. Ultimately, the relationship becomes little more than a minefield of subjects that can no longer be discussed openly with authentic feeling.” When I was practicing as couples therapist I saw this time and time again. The more you are able to communicate when small issues arise, the more developed your ability becomes to deal with larger relationship conflict.
Many times I see people rushing to the altar in hopes all will work itself out. When it comes to marriage you can never have too much information before making the commitment. Commit first to yourself to avoid possible future disappointment or road blocks to a healthy and happy relationship and read 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged to prepare to spend the rest of your life with your best friend
xoxo
Angela, The Goddess Next Door
