Are You Taking Yourself for Granted?

 Inspired Living, Self Care & Life Balance  5 Responses »
Feb 202010
 

“Are you taking yourself for granted?”

That may seem like an odd question, but I’d like you to ponder it for a moment.

Do you find yourself feeling indifferent towards your personal and professional accomplishments?

Do you think that others’ accomplishments are impressive, while assuming yours aren’t anything out of the ordinary and not exceptional?

This is very common. One of my coaching clients had a great session a few weeks ago when she came to the realization that she has always taken herself for granted.

Most of her life, she’s had a Type-A personality; independent, goal-oriented and highly driven; she always looked for something to strive for. Once she had achieved a goal, her focus shifted immediately to the next, bigger and better project.

During our coaching session it struck her. She realized that she’s never valued the accomplishments she’s had up to that point in her life.

It was as if she thought of her accomplishments as small tasks on her “to do list” that she had checked off one day. She didn’t feel successful or that her accomplishments were really that important. Through coaching, she was able to realize she had the tendency to compare herself to what others were doing, and she never felt like what she did was good enough.

 

Together we identified how this feeling of not being good enough was being reflected in her career. Always having the entrepreneurial spirit, she tried her hand at various businesses: professional caterer, franchise owner, therapist, and direct sales consultant. Taking herself and her accomplishments for granted severely impeded her marketing and business building abilities. With each business she was able to achieve a certain level of success but ultimately sabotaged and limited herself beyond that. Self imposing as it was, it showed up over and over because she depreciated her own self-worth.

After coaching her through the TransCovery process – developed by Dale Halaway of Seminars that Inspire, I had her begin listing all of her personal and professional successes up to that point. She was very surprised by what she saw. Not only the number of accomplishments she was able to identify, but also the significance of each success surprised her. Taking a step back and thinking about her list more objectively she found herself really impressed.

At that point she realized how much she had taken for granted the time, energy and work she put forth to achieve the small and the large successes that made up her life. She was able to recognize the significance of those triumphs and challenges.

Only once you are able to recognize your own value and appreciate what you have to offer can others do the same. Until then, you will attract people and create circumstances that will reinforce the lowered value you’ve placed on yourself.

You may begin noticing:

  • You accept from others less than you truly deserve.
  • You limit yourself in building a successful business.
  • You over-work yourself.
  • You under charge for your products or services or give too much of your work away.
  • You do not show yourself appreciation through positive self-care by taking care of your physical, emotional, mental, and social needs.

I invite you to take a few minutes for some self recognition and start your own list of accomplishments and successes, both large and small. It may be a bit challenging at first, although once you get on a roll, just like my client, you may be pleasantly surprised by all that you are and all that you’ve done.

If you find this exercise to be helpful, consider creating a Success Journal. A Success Journal is a place to write about or simply note anytime you have a personal success. We sometimes habitually slip into taking ourselves for granted. A success journal can help remind us of the positive things we have accomplished and what we have to be grateful for. It’s a wonderful reminder of the value we bring to both our personal and professional lives.

Have you been taking yourself for granted? How has your life been affected? Leave a comment and share your story!

xoxo

Angela, The Goddess Next Door

PS. If this article resonated with you, consider Transformational Life Coaching. You could see life changing results (increased income, better relationships, more confidence and greater overall happiness) once you stop taking yourself for granted.

Mind Spinning? Try This…

 Inspired Living, Self Care & Life Balance  5 Responses »
Feb 192010
 

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your thoughts or emotions?

If so, try practicing mindfulness. What is it?

Mindfulness is an amazing practice of observing without attachment.

This technique helps stop a racing mind, obsessive thoughts and feelings of anxiousness. Whether running late and stuck in traffic or dealing with family stress, you can use this technique anywhere and anytime.

Once you feel comfortable with the basic steps, you can expand your skill by using the techniques in other ways.

5 Simple Steps to Mindfulness:

  1. Find something around you to focus on.
  2. Observe what you see.
  3. Describe only the facts (I see a black clock, the clock has a white background, the clock has numbers 1 through 12, the clock has a second hand, etc)
  4. Describe in detail what you see without judgment (judgment is emotion based, positive or negative; something that people may not agree on i.e. ugly, favorite, delicious , stinky)
  5. Continue until anxiousness or racing thoughts pass.

When engaging the logical part of the brain, it moves you out of your emotional mind. This is a great technique when you need to calm yourself down to think more rationally and make better choices.

However, it’s important to deal with your feelings. Once you are able to become more objective, take the opportunity to process your feelings and work through what caused your reaction.

Once you are able to use the basic skill of mindfulness, you can expand your practice.

Other ways you can use mindfulness include:

  • Observing food preparation and eating
  • People watching
  • Observing the changing landscape
  • Observing your own reactions without attachment. (more advanced skill)
  • Meditation
  • Guided Visualization

When you are able to simply notice how you react to situations, you increase your self-awareness and ability to respond. Mindfulness also enhances your overall experience.

Have fun practicing and living more mindfully in all areas life.

xoxo

Angela, The Goddess Next Door

Has Your Inner Male Taken Over?

 Inspired Living, Relationships, Self Care & Life Balance  4 Responses »
Jan 132010
 

Over the years in my coaching practice I have noticed a trend that more and more women are leading with their masculine side – the driving side that pushes, analyzes and tries to maintain control.

I hear it all the time from women that they are feeling pushed to their limits. The demands we face every day can feel overwhelming, overloading our to-do lists, attending time management workshops, scheduling “quality time” with the people we love, driving ourselves faster and harder trying to do it all.

Ultimately trying to control things that are uncontrollable will leave you feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and depressed.

Have you experienced any of the following?

  1. Pushing, trying to make things happen?
  2. Struggling and always taking on more?
  3. Never having the time to take care of and pamper yourself?
  4. Feeling like there isn’t enough time to do everything you need to do and always feeling pressed for time?
  5. Taking work home with you?
  6. Always having one project come up after the next, everything seeming to be ‘URGENT’?
  7. Analyzing situations until your brain feels like it’s spinning and you’re physically exhausted?
  8. Has your sex drive diminished, never feeling ‘in-the-mood’?

If so, your masculine side has taken over!

We are to be leading with our feminine side, we are women after all. That receptive, allowing, heart centered, open and intuitive side of ourselves.

Feeling like you always have to do more and constantly be busy is stressful, but we continue to do it because it gives us the feeling of control and safety. Sounds crazy I know, but we often continue with something that is uncomfortable to avoid the fear of the unknown and the discomfort that comes with it.

The practice of trusting your feminine side and slowing down usually brings up feelings of anxiety and sometimes panic. It may feel very foreign and unproductive and it certainly can be challenging to go through it alone.

Without the tools to deal with your feelings correctly, you will end up stuffing them back down and strengthening them in the process.

Imagine a child who throws a temper tantrum to get something they want. If they have gotten their way in the past, they learn very quickly to keep increasing their outburst until you react.

The same thing happens with your feelings. They become stronger and stronger each time you push them away. That’s why sometimes you find yourself reacting way out of proportion to something that upsets you.

Why would you ever want to go through all that drama?

By taking back control over your life you will experience:

  • Becoming more calm, more grounded and more at peace.
  • Becoming less reactive to external situations and have the ability to respond in more appropriate ways.
  • Recognizing and responding to your feelings rather then unconsciously stuffing them with busy distraction, emotional eating or spending money on things that won’t fulfill you.
  • Feeling more confident and joyful.
  • Feeling less-stressed, overwhelmed and anxious.
  • The ability to connect with your deeper purpose and what is truly important to you.
  • Attracting new, healthy relationships, improving your family relationships, and deeper, supportive friendships.

Have you allowed your masculine side to take over?

Imagine what it would be like if you were more connected with your intuition allowing you to be more successful in business and relationships, while feeling more relaxed and having more fun. If this is something you would like more of in your life, schedule a coaching consultation and learn how having a Transformational Life Coach on your side can help!

xoxo

Angela, The Goddess Next Door

Page 1 of 7 1 2 3 … 6 7